There are so many things I need to write this week that I don’t know where to start and I would rather not commit anything to paper at all so I can avoid the complexity, but I did that last week and I have only made things worse. I realise this is why I have previously always stopped writing; the discipline becomes a constraint from which I would rather run away and hide. There is such a personal shift going on for me at this time however that I am going to attempt to continue; writing my thoughts down creates a clarity that helps me perceive more deeply.

It has been a week (or two) of long term projects and ideas nearing their completion and giving me a sense of actually ‘getting there’, wherever ’there’ is. That sums up the shift that is going on for me: despite all I have learned about spirituality and the laws of the universe, I had always believed that the answers lay ‘out there somewhere’. If I tried hard, worked hard, achieved things that others didn’t, then I would arrive somewhere with a sense of satisfaction, and dare I say it, greatness. That, I can now see, is all a construct of my ego, and completely exhausting as well as unachievable because as soon as one goal is achieved, another presents itself making for an inexhaustible life of continually flogging myself for an attainment that remains elusive.

Ironically, or perhaps not from a spiritual perspective, as I have begun to let go of the need to work at ideas and projects for their sense of validation, they have begun to resolve and complete. I can see in the estate that things happen at the right time and they take time to emerge. In very little time really, habitats have sprung up and new plants have colonised. We have the first known recording in Surrey of tall goose foot, a plant (for some, a weed) that I had never heard of, but it got some botanists excited. The shift towards a more sustainable future is living alongside complexity and diversity as all things have a contribution to make towards a greater whole.

Excitingly this week we won the Sustainability Prize at the Tandridge Business Awards and I am so grateful for the opportunity to promote what we are doing across the estate to an audience who hadn’t realised they were interested in the differences a farm can make, and how their own choices can make an impactful difference. On the back of this award I have realised that I do have something worthwhile to share and that I would like to take the opportunity to talk more widely about why I am doing this work and how others can get involved too.

So what is my why… I am a healer. It began from healing people with osteopathy. Then my awareness expanded and, as I realised the interconnectedness of all things, I noticed that the land, the insects, the wildlife, the entire natural world, is each an important, valuable part of the whole and all yearning to be healed too. I have no ability to heal the world, but I can make a difference to the place I am lucky enough to live in. To share my learnings with others gives the opportunity for this to be replicated elsewhere for a collective, healing of the wider landscape as we are all in this together and that diversity and complexity is what is required for health; we all have something important to contribute.

For us to thrive, we must all thrive. But the greatest shift I have realised, is within myself. To let go of the overall outcome and my ego’s attachment to doing. Just make the next best decision in this moment because it is the right thing to do, not because of a vested interest to what it might mean. This internal shift then is where the true change will begin.