The first part of any healing journey like this begins with ourselves. We must look within our own body and mind if we want to understand how to relate better to others and the world around us. To understand why we feel or react in a certain way, is the beginning of greater compassion, acceptance and forgiveness. For me this inward healing journey began in 2008 whilst doing a six-year series of cranial osteopathic courses in Wales, where we were studying how the body reacts to and holds onto emotions. This involved deeply understanding our own reactions and feelings. It was a challenging few years for me as I delved deep into the dark, unpleasant parts of my own soul and spent considerable time accepting, rather than denying, the ugly, dark, offensive side of my personality. Having suffered for years as a perfectionist, it was ironic that in order to accept my ‘perfect’ self, I had to accept the parts of myself I had pretended weren’t there. Portraying, to myself as much as anyone, that I was ‘perfect,’ whilst deep down knowing that there were some terrifying demons lurking within, was exhausting as well as kept me living a life in the shallows. These demons needed a voice too and that course in Wales, gave them an opportunity to be seen and heard. Once seen, they stopped having such a hold on me and allowed me to have deeper feelings about absolutely everything around me. 

 

Having begun to accept my whole self, a journey that still continues as we can never say we have mastered it, the next step was to understand, accept and forgive others; leading to compassion and understanding in those around us. Bringing on another level of complexity, this allows us to accept others for all their ‘dark’ sides too. I am definitely still working on this, but I am better than I was, and that is all I can reasonably ask of myself. Once we accept others wholly, we are able to create a gentler, more compassionate, understanding of how we all relate to the world around us. 

 

If then, we create our own reality, then compassion, acceptance and forgiveness are the qualities I would like to hold close to my heart to create a world around me where all creatures are understood and accepted for their role within the whole ecosystem. Where people with whom I interact, do so from a place of kindness and compassion. Where all decisions are made to create a win-win situation for all involved. If there are no winners and losers, then we are less inclined to feel the need to dominate those around us, which only induces fear and a desire to retaliate. Creating win-wins produces a fairer system, if everyone plays by these rules. 

 

The fact that we create our own reality fills me with hope: relying on myself and my own response to create the world I wish to see and live in, feels achievable. When I felt that I needed a critical mass of other people to join me, there was a pressure to find them and ‘convert’ them to my way of thinking – oops, bit of dominance still lurking in my shadows then. I shall continue to work on my thoughts, feelings and emotions to create the reality I would like to see around me and if anyone else feels that they would like that too, then they’re welcome to join me.